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Hype at First Swipe: The Dark Side of Using Dating Apps

Andrea A
9 min readFeb 16, 2019

Chasing highs has never felt less gratifying.

Dating apps are like our favourite guilty pleasures: we know they’re bad for us, yet we can’t stay away from them.

We complain about them, share our bad experiences over drinks with our closest friends.

We convince ourselves we’re better off without the apps and take a much needed digital detox from them.

Only to reinstall them a month later and be back in the swiping game.

This pattern of behaviour continues on.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”- Einsten

Why is it that we put ourselves through this mental torture expecting the outcome to be different the second or third time around?

Short Answer: A desire for connection.

Maslow’s hierarchy shines a light on one of our fundamental needs for “love and belonging” aka- human connection.

With the dating landscape completely changing in this digital era, the days of forging connections in the offline realm are far and few in between.

As much as weddings, networking events or concerts provide an opportunity to bring like-minded people together, the frequency is minimal.

Taking part in weekly social activities that encourage interaction is probably the best way to meet people.

Unfortunately, putting yourself out there in fear of rejection or striking up a conversation with a complete stranger in real life can be intimidating for many.

Instead of basing it on chance in the offline world, a lot of us choose the illusion of choice.

Enter: dating apps.

Recent studies aside, it’s pretty clear that the instant gratification we receive from having the opportunity to match with (what seems like) an endless stream of people makes dating apps a desirable medium of choice.

Add in the selling point of swiping away at your own convenience and the odds “seem” in your favour.

Yet like most things in life, nothing good comes easy.

Andrea A

Content writer by day, introspective thinker by night. Sharing “aha” moments and uncomfortable truths one story at a time.